"You're on your own now."
That's what Olivia said to me this morning when I knocked on her door. She didn't let me in, she just handed me my notebook and told me to keep it close, not that it would matter soon. Could you get any more cryptic, Olivia?
So now I'm sitting at the fish station, waiting for my ship to come in. Oh sorry, I couldn't resist. we're all waiting for the boats to come in with the early morning catch. There's been less and less caught in the last few days, and this morning there aren't as many boats where I can see them on the lake. They must be looking for a new spot, in the deeper parts of the lake. This lake is pretty freaking huge, at least 12 kilometres long, it's a long way to chase the fish around.
Daniel is with me today. Even Ed's calm reasoning wouldn't budge me, and once Daniel started to whine that he really needed a break from "mudding" (the kids' term for catching reptiles), I could tell Ed had lost and we took off before he could come up another reasonable argument.
He's turned into such a frustrating man. Everything I say, he takes and makes it so that my fear sounds ridiculous. He has a rational excuse for everything. I feel like I'm arguing with a brick wall, and by the time he finishes with me, I am convinced that I'm imagining things, again. Taking Daniel today feels like the first solid step into regaining myself, and I couldn't even do that alone. It took a 10 year old's whiny voice to counteract the reasonable.
Daniel is attempting to throw knives into a chunk of wood. I guess I ought to stop him before somebody else does. Fillet knives make for terrible throwing, kiddo.
